In the WooWoo Wonderland™

6:06 AM, Monday, June 18th, 2007 will mark the twenty-fourth anniversary of my arrival into this life. Some have asked what I would like for my birthday, so I have compiled an abbreviated list. Ahem...

#1. The West Memphis Three finally freed

#2. The ability to disable the vocal cords of anyone who starts talking about American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, or Paris Hilton with my mind

#3. A new surgeon general that's competent for the job and not a complete and total asshole bigot

#4. A chance to punch Carlos Mencia, Snoop Dogg, Howard Stern, and Larry the Cable Guy in their respective throats

#5. The ability to roundhouse kick (I've been practicing)

#6. The chance to ask each and everyone of the Republican presidential candidates why they are homophobes, on camera, or, failing this, the chance to ask George Stephanopoulos why he's a racist, also on camera

#7. A license to kill good for a week, or really, just one day

#8. The chance to piss on Jerry Falwell's grave after dancing on it stark naked

#9. The chance to bitch-slap the members of the Supreme Court that voted in favor of the federal abortion ban

#10. An army of flying cats

#11. The chance to bitch-slap the entire "Focus on the Family" crowd

#12. The right to punch anyone who calls himself a pimp in the throat without retaliation (this includes individuals that are actually in fact pimps)

#13. The right to beat anyone who proudly announces that he or she doesn't read and/or isn't registered to vote with a pillow case full of batteries

#14. The chance to be a raving, creepy performance artist for a day on a busy street corner, with a secret service back-up in case critics get a mite hairy in bestowing their opinions

#15. The chance to try primal scream therapy in a crowded Wal-mart




That said, I also have a wish list on Amazon.com and a tendency to get squishy by anyone just remembering the fact it's my birthday.

Ran across this....



Also worth a listen and a watch, Le Tigre's "New Kicks". Although I do tend to lean towards George Carlin's views on protesting war.

I have to say it, I was getting just a mite caught up in....


Don't get me wrong. I have no respect for politicians. Blecch. Why did I vote for RALPH NADER in 2004 and campaign for him (since I was too young to vote) in 2000? 'Cause he was the smartest person for the goddamn job, that's why. And let fuckin' Kerry use a word like "heterosexism". Of course, save for a great upheaval in this country, I knew that Ralph wouldn't win, but that didn't stop me from voting for him. If my vote counts (and the media insists it does, than I wanted it to count for Ralph Nader. But Ralph isn't running this term (worn down, I suspect by the idiots that seriously think he is a "spoiler" and somehow "gave" the 2000 election to Bush, since apparently these dicks can't understand freshman electoral process) so I had to cast my gaze elsewhere, and ran across the young fella who all the commotion's about. I had admit, I like his war policies, I like his articulation, I like the fact he's not so firmly entrenched in the machine that it's a stale retread of everything we've heard before. I was really getting behind Obama (not to a Nader level, Mr. Nader will always be my First, le sigh):




Um, then I saw this which was actually the nicer of some accounts. It seems Mr. Obama is tryin' to pull a Kerry. And for those that claim "Well at least that's civil unions!" Let me 'splain something to you. He's a politician. He's catching crap already from the fact he went to an extremely liberal madrassa as a kid. You don't think he's going to try and win the Christians with an anti-gay marriage stance? And how he's already trotting out the Christian thing with "try[ing] not to have [his] religious beliefs dominate or determine [his] political views on this issue"? Even though he pretty much null-and-voids that in the same sentence.

Sigh sigh sigh. I coulda wept when I saw that. Mr. Obama, I had such foolishly high hopes for you. When will I learn ain't nobody Ralph Nader but Ralph Nader? :^(


Hey, Mr. Obama. I got some views on your views of marriage and "sanctification":