alivemagdolene | Good Night Ralph, Love Sare

We change as we age. If we didn't, we wouldn't be aging (what?). Ralph Nader recently announcing he will run for president got me thinking. Mr. Nader and I have a long and colorful history that I'd like to walk you through, if you don't mind?

Pre-2000 I learn that Ralph Nader is a consumer advocate. I see him on Sesame Street, Saturday Night Live, and other important shows. I grow to have the mandatory respect for this person.

2000 I'm too young to vote in what's considered one of the most controversial elections of all time. I may not be able to vote, but I can at least campaign for Ralph Nader, who I see as change from "politics as usual". I am intrigued by this Green party idea.

Early fall 2002 Now legally able to vote, I've registered as a Green, not just because I like the idea of a third (or fourth or fifth) party, but I actually agree with everything on their platform. And we as citizens need to rethink our politics to defeat a system that is unjustly gearing to go to war. I also manage to develop a hot 'n' steamy crush on ol' Ralph. I print and cut out pictures of him and put them on the wall by my bed. I'm serious. I actually did this. I read all of Ralph Nader's books that I haven't already read. I find the issue of TIME from 1969 that has him in all its trippy-dippy glory. I put that up on my wall, too. During the midterm elections, I vote for nearly all Green candidates. One of my bosses says that I remind her of the girl from Still Life with Woodpecker, which I then of course have to read. I am disappointed as I find this an excruciating, sexist, and downright lousy book.

2004 My girlish crush may have waned, but my belief in Nader has not. I am as annoyed as ever at the dipshits that don't even understand middle-school level civics that claim he's to blame for four years of George W. Bush. Nader responds to these attacks (generally from disgruntled Democrats) by saying that they needed an easy scapegoat. Nader's ally Michael Moore produces a blockbuster documentary about the Bush administration called Fahrenheit 9/11. This, in addition to the success of his books Stupid White Men and Dude, Where's My Country? and his Oscar win for Bowling for Columbine has made Moore a suddenly very prominent figure in the election wars. Nader urges his friend to support him publicly in another run for the presidency. Moore declines. I'm unimpressed by Kerry, and figure the day he uses the word heterosexism (Nader gave a speech incorporating that term) is the day he might win my consideration for a vote. I need someone other than just NotBush04 as my candidate. I cast my first vote in a presidential election for Ralph Nader, despite the threats of my Democrat mother (my father is also a Democrat but enjoys discussion, not disgust).

February 2008 I've put my support with Barack Obama. I see on the AP ticker (still the fastest source for news) Ralph is declaring another run for president. I suddenly feel sad, as it seems that the arguments his detractors have made for years seem true. He's turned into an ego maniacal putz, hell-bent on destroying both his legacy and the election. It occurs that were he serious about running for president, he'd have started a campaign earlier, would have worked more with the Greens on a ground level, and have had a career as a politician. I feel even more sad and even more disillusioned. I retain my opinion of the fact Nader was not to blame for the outcome of the 2000 election, nor do I regret my decision to campaign for him in 2000 and to vote for him in 2004. Though the pictures by my bed are long gone, along with the belief Nader would ever have a realistic chance about becoming president, I will always have the core of his teachings and the magical years I spent conjuring lurid fantasies. Also, the glares of dim-witted Democrats and shit-eating smiles of dim-witted Republicans because I am a Green.

Goodnight, Mr. Nader, where ever you are!

NOTE: I'm aware you're probably not on a campaign bus.