alivemagdolene: (Books are Magic)
[personal profile] alivemagdolene
More of the Fifty Books Challenge! This was a Goodwill find from my father.

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Title: The Worst Album Covers Ever! by Nick DiFonzo

Details: Copyright 2004, Barnes & Noble Books

Synopsis (By Way of Back Cover): "Over the decades in which vinyl ruled the turntables, there were some fantastic, ground-breaking album cover designs. However, simultaneously there was also a plethora of superlatively bad album titles and designs made by artists and record companies. Some album covers may be doomed to awfulness by the artist's bad hair, others by their terrible dress sense, but many by an incomprehensibly strange choice of props.

The Worst Album Covers Ever takes a satirical look at 80 covers whose sheer bad taste ensures their place in the annals of music history for evermore."

Why I Wanted to Read It: Come on, look at the title and cover! Aren't you a little interested?

How I Liked It: The book opens with a bit of history on the album cover (soaked in a bit too much Boomerist nostalgia) but gets more interesting once DiFonzo starts outlining what makes a bad album cover, genres and marketing, and some "lost art" of the era of the record. He contends that the niche markets that most of these albums fall into (instructional, novelty, Christian music) simply didn't have the "image consultants" (and presumably mirrors) that larger labels and more popular acts boasted. He notes the growth of some markets (Christian pop) and the disappearance (mood music) of others. DiFonzo's commentary isn't as witty as the albums deserve and at times is just superfluous. But this is, of course, primarily a book of pictures and wow, what pictures. Truly squirmifying entries vary from the "mood music" craze:

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to what vaguely feels like the exploitation of people with disabilities and handicaps:

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Behold Gary Dee Bradford, born with no arms.


to the tasteless:

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Behold Millie Jackson (who gets points for appearing twice) whose ESP album stands for "Extra Sexual Persuasion", as the cover helpfully informs us.


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to the many, many, MANY varieties of Christian family music from the 1970s:

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to unfortunate album titles (specializing in puns and double entendres, both intentional and non):

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Songs include: "Get Me to the Church on Time", "This Could Be the Start of Something Big", and "I've Got You Under My Skin". No, seriously.


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This one requires a bit of explanation (don't they all, really): Texan Freddie Gage was apparently known as "The Underworld Preacher". A reformed drug addict, in the 1950s he founded the Pulpit in the Shadows ministry committed to "reaching restless youth.. victims of drug abuse, hippies... the rebel motorcycle gangs, and society dropouts".


to fashions that stretched even the acceptability of their respective eras:

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Notable: While DiFonzo's book is populated by obscure acts, there is one (relatively) mainstream group that makes an appearance.

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And yes, that is indeed New York Representative John Hall (who's made several memorable appearances on The Colbert Report) at the center.


The author has a site with hundreds more horrible album covers you can browse through, handily organized in a variety of ways (simply by name or genre, examples: "Getting Preachy", "Nice Ladies", and "Don't Ask, Don't Tell").

Date: 2009-11-11 04:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queer-theory.livejournal.com
I love that website. I also follow a blog that posts these. I love the 70s and 80s... People had no idea what they were doing.

Date: 2009-11-12 01:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alivemagdolene.livejournal.com
My father had given me this book like a year ago but I'd never gotten around to reading it-- if only I'd known about the website!

Seriously, some of this shit there's absolutely no excuse. XD

Date: 2009-11-12 01:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queer-theory.livejournal.com
Seriously, some of this shit there's absolutely no excuse. XD

Image (http://tinypic.com)

Date: 2009-11-12 01:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alivemagdolene.livejournal.com
If you need me, I'll be over here urinating on myself in laughter. That's nearly as lolarious as the third Christian family album I posted (dude, the hair, the dresses... they look like a cult).

ADDENDUM: I love how the sour cream on the one lady is particularly, well, low. I'm gettin' there myself, so I shouldn't laugh, but still.

Date: 2009-11-12 01:39 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queer-theory.livejournal.com
I love the one in the back, whose sour cream covers nearly her entire body. :D

Date: 2009-11-11 05:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rehime.livejournal.com
The "all my friends are dead" one is pretty icon worthy, actually.

Very few of these other ones are.

I just hope .... I just hope that these people are all right.

Date: 2009-11-12 01:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alivemagdolene.livejournal.com
The Friends one gets me every time (spraylaughing, my well known vice), no matter how much I look at it. Who would possibly think that was an appropriate title? And if you're going for the "scared straight" angle, you'd think primary colors aren't the way to go.

Very few of these other ones are.

Oh, I dunno.... the Great Organ Hits (did you catch the set list? "The Happy Organ"? "The Dipsy Doodle"? If those aren't intended double entendres, that guy was even more vanilla than he looked) and Fingerless Fiddler (seriously, what got into these people?!) might make amusing icons.

The author had an update on any of the "artists" he could find. The armless kid now runs a disability organization (the shock!), and "Devastin' Dave" still tours, apparently (although presumably not in that outfit). Some of the people you get the feeling they still would have no idea why their albums would be so hilarious and/or considered "bad".




Date: 2009-11-12 01:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alivemagdolene.livejournal.com
ADDENDUM: I'm sure there's something wrong with me (or overly slashed with me) for not finding the Orleans one "bad". Maybe it's because it's so well known (relatively)? The dudes are shirtless and in a "band pose" but that makes them look more redneck-y to me. Maybe since it was before gay chic? I love this video (and the song):


Date: 2009-11-12 05:17 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rehime.livejournal.com
I think I could do something with the guy in the short-shorts (crap I think I just made that list you were talking about), but after that I don't have the talent to fit these travesties into 100x100 spaces. But I'm so working on that "all my friends are dead" picture tonight, I need something to cheer me up.

About the Authoress

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