Eww, Santorum!

[alivemagdolene]

To those that don't know, somehow, noted hate-monger Rick Santorum plans to run for president. No, seriously.

But there's a fun side to this and also something you can do to stop him.

This comes to you from this week's Savage Love:

Ben Smith at Politico.com reported last Tuesday that Republican former U.S. senator Rick Santorum plans to run for president. PoliticalWire.com linked to Smith’s post and added, “Santorum has a serious Google problem.” Truthdig.com linked to Political Wire’s post and spelled out Santorum’s Google problem: “The former senator’s rampant homophobia inspired sex columnist Dan Savage to launch a campaign to usurp the conservative’s name. The result: If you type ‘Santorum’ into Google, you’ll find that it refers not to a former senator, but ‘that frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex.’”

From uppercase Santorum making the news with the announcement that he intends to run (runs?) for president to the full definition of lowercase santorum—in just three steps.

And who deserves the credit? Not me. The credit is yours, dear readers. It’s thanks to you that SpreadingSantorum.com—a blog I haven’t updated since July 2004—remains the No. 1 hit on Google when you search “Santorum.” It was a Savage Love reader who first suggested that we usurp Rick Santorum’s name, another Savage Love reader who suggested the “frothy mixture” definition, and Savage Love readers who chose the winning definition in a free and fair election. Well done, gang.

We can’t take credit for Santorum losing his seat in the U.S. Senate to Bob Casey by 18 points. That was Rick’s doing. But we helped to make him ridiculous—there were so many headlines during his failed re-election campaign with “froth” or “frothy” in them. And for a politician, being an object of ridicule is a problem, which is why SpreadingSantorum.com and the “frothy mixture” definition of santorum are going to be a problem as Rick runs for president.

“Maybe it’s time to start updating SpreadingSantorum.com again,” writes Savage Love reader P.B., “now that Rick is running for president.”

I couldn’t agree more, P.B., but I’m a busy guy these days. Back when I was writing for SpreadingSantorum.com, I had only the column on my plate. Now I blog every day at thestranger.com/slog, I do a weekly podcast, I’ve got a bad case of talking headism, and I’m working on another stupid book. So I just don’t have the time to give SpreadingSantorum.com the attention it needs.

But maybe some Savage Love readers do?

If SpreadingSantorum.com is going to remain Google’s top hit when you search “santorum”—and it should—then the site needs to come back to life. So I’m looking for a few folks who want to torment Rick Santorum by following every twist and turn of his sure-to-be-disastrous run for the White House on SpreadingSantorum.com. (I may dip in every once in a while and post myself.) It would be helpful if one of the people posting to SpreadingSantorum.com was in Iowa, and it couldn’t hurt to have someone in New Hampshire, but you don’t have to live in either of those states. It would be labor of love—read: a nonpaying gig—but you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that you’re driving Rick Santorum and his supporters absolutely batshit. (Batshittier?)

If you think you’re the right person for this gig—if you think you’re right for SpreadingSantorum.com—write me at mail@savagelove.net.

So what can you do if you don't think you can write for SpreadingSantorum.com? Spread the word (as I'm doing) to help find someone who can. Link to it on your links page (*gestures left*), use the word 'santorum' in conversation (it'll come up, trust me), whatever it takes. Let's do everything we can to ensure that Santorum is seen for the laughing stock he is (I sense a "middle right" would give him a good white-washing shower, maybe add "climate change" to one of his talking points, before he would be presented as a viable GOP candidate).

Comments

[iamashamed.livejournal.com]

Oh no... My God, I remember him..

[alivemagdolene.livejournal.com]

I read a taping report that said at the Q & A before a show, Jon was asked who the worst guest the show ever had was and he joked "Jimmy Carter" and then seriously said "Rick Santorum". That was a couple years ago, though. I guess Huckabee, horrible political views or not, is a charming and likable enough guy to count as a good guest (at least given how many times he's been on.