"I'm Not Sure How Jesus Feels About Licking the Clitoris."

[alivemagdolene]

Totally ganked from supremegoddess1...

All this guy's stuff is hilarious, but here were a few of my favorites...

Why It Is Okay For Sex To Hurt the Vagina
Featured Quote: "I'm not sure how Jesus feels about licking the clitoris."

Why Homosexuality Is Against God's Will
Featured Quote: "Children are better than AIDS."

Why Gays and Lesbians Are Often Immoral
Featured Quote: "Gay people walk around looking for a willing anus" also "Of course, I can't have sex yet, because I'm not married, but I can feel the breasts, and I'm looking forward to that."

Why Abortion Is Evil
Featured Quote: "I think atheists would eat children. And Jesus is not going to like that."

Why Condoms Don't Offer Real Protection Against STDS
Featured Quote: "Do you want a vagina full of AIDS?"

And he even got a response!

Sad that these are satire yet there are PLENTY of fuckwipes that would nod their heads, taking this seriously and agreeing with every cartoon psycho fundie word uttered.

Comments

[chris-baby.livejournal.com]

And then people frown when I state - only half-jokingly, mind you - that not all people are equal, some are just downright inferior. THEY ARE DAMMIT!

Can we cut their air off?

[alivemagdolene.livejournal.com]

They don't refer to air as oxygen, it's Jesus clouds. So we're probably safe in them not noticing.

[aybara-max.livejournal.com]

.....................okay.

I admit I didn't realize it was satire at first and just got pissed and stopped watching/listening.

Then I scrolled down, and watched more, and saw THE ORANGE/SPOON WHUT.

BABY WHTU OMG LSDFJLDKSJFL:SDJFL:SDn AAAAAAHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHA!

okay... i have to get up early to teach a class..but i will come back to the rest of these later... oh my.

[alivemagdolene.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize it was satire at first either and went "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING, FUCKHEAD! YOU CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE 'VAGINAL' PROPERLY!!!" since his deadpan is just so... deadpan. When he got to the part about the orange, tho', I started cackling and realized "Oh."

The chick who responded to him's pretty good, too. I love the rolling her eyes at the ceiling to address Jesus and replacing all swear words with "spoon". XD