Movies That Just Can't Be Saved

From The Hater:

Where Is Evan Rachel Wood Supposed To Be From?

Whatever Works

by Amelie Gillette May 12, 2009

Last week, the trailer for Whatever Works, the new Woody Allen joint starring Larry David as Larry David playing Woody Allen, found its way online. In it, Evan Rachel Wood plays a dim-witted girl who is apparently hails from some unidentifiable locale south of the Mason Dixon line.

Based on the trailer and nothing else here's a short list of where Evan Rachel Wood's character is supposed to be from:

--Texas?

--Generic Tin-Eared Southern Accent City, Texas

--A Kenosha, Wisconsin high school production of A Streetcar Named Desire

--You know, the South

--Inside a giant pot of syrupy sweet molasses

--The James Van Der Beek School Of Terrible Southern Accents

--The bottom of a big, ole frosty mint julep

--A soundstage

--That there swamp over yonder

--A Red Lobster on cajun shrimp night

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Not even the promise of the delicious Sam Bee will get me past the fact Evan Rachel Wood is wooing Larry David and in that "accent". Ugh.