alivemagdolene: (Clara Laughs)
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Hello friend! Feeling glum? Allow me to cheer you up with a visit to Amazon.com. We're not going to buy anything, just enjoy some reviews.

Yeah, yeah, I'm aware that most people discovered funny Amazon reviews years ago, but for me it was only TWO years ago and there have been some particularly good ones I've discovered recently. This is an art, you know. I tried to stay away from the most well-known ones (Tuscan Whole Milk, horse head mask, Three Wolf Moon t-shirt).

PRODUCT: Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer

CHOICE REVIEW: "If God does not exist, then how is it that a banana fits so perfectly in this banana slicer? CHECKMATE, ATHEISTS!"


PRODUCT: Bic Cristal "For Her" Ball Pen

CHOICE REVIEW: "I'd really like to buy a pack of these pens; but I probably need my father's or husband's permission first. Like I do with all my financial decisions."


PRODUCT: Fresh Whole Rabbit

CHOICE REVIEW: "Like many suburban homeowners, I like to kill and eat the wild animals that populate my backyard. To keep it sporting, I hunt naked, with my teeth and long sharpened fingernails as my only weapons. I've feasted on squirrel, raccoon, vole and numerous songbirds. But no matter how long I lay spread eagle and motionless in the hot noonday sun, I have never been able to outwit and catch any of the plump and juicy rabbits that hop just outside my reach and then bolt for the woods when I leap forward with a blood-curdling shriek. I have chased them at a dead run through the yards of the many unoccupied homes that surround mine but the pursuit always ends in frustration. But no more, thanks to Amazon. Every week, I order a fresh whole rabbit and affix it to a remote control car that is operated by one of my children. This way, I get the thrill of the hunt, and when the car's batteries are exhausted, I can leap upon it, bury my teeth into the rabbit's soft flesh and perform my ritual victory dance right there in the Walgreen's parking lot."


PRODUCT: 8 & 10-Row Aluminum Bleachers w Central Aisle & Railing

CHOICE REVIEW: "So I bought these bleachers last night. They have arrived today already after I paid 1K for shipping, which is pretty decent when you think about the size. I'm very happy with my purchase. I put it right in front of my TV and it's the perfect piece of furniture to watch sports and sitcoms on. It gets a little uncomfortable at the top row as my head hits the ceiling all the time, but I'd trade this for a good view of my living room!"


PRODUCT: BIC Cristal Stic Ball Pen

CHOICE REVIEW: "As a discriminating Meth user, I'm always disappointed with the colored pens
I steal occasionally. After serious thought to quitting my habit, imagine my delight at finding this product! The easy twist removal of the pen itself from the tube got my interest but the clear tube, that was the clincher! Now I can see exactly how much residue I have left to scrape when my funds are low, and the plastic is very resistant to heat, whether using foil, or a torch lighter! Kudos to a handy product!"
alivemagdolene: (Books are Magic)
The Fifty Books Challenge, year three! (Years one, two, and three just in case you're curious.) This was a library request.

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Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live?... )
alivemagdolene: (Books are Magic)
The Fifty Books Challenge, year three! (Years one, two, and three just in case you're curious.) This was a library request.

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Yeah! I haven't seen her on TV in a while. So...what happened to her? )
alivemagdolene: (Books are Magic)
The Fifty Books Challenge, year three! (Years one, two, and three just in case you're curious.) This was a secondhand find.

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Are You Offended By the Following Behavior? )
alivemagdolene: (Books are Magic)
The Fifty Books Challenge, year three! (Years one, two, and three just in case you're curious.) This was a secondhand find.

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Read More... )
alivemagdolene: (Clara Laughs)



Whilst enjoying this video, I came upon a "curious" comment.

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WHY CAN'T I STOP LAUGHING.
alivemagdolene: (Books are Magic)
The Fifty Books Challenge, year three! (Years one, two, and three just in case you're curious.) This was a library request.

10335308



Read More... )
alivemagdolene: (Books are Magic)
I'm bummed this isn't going as quickly as other years, but I keep getting distracted by books I've already read (and adored) but have only recently been gifted. DAMN YOU, GIFTERS. ONWARD!

The Fifty Books Challenge, year three! (Years one, two, and three just in case you're curious.) This was a secondhand find.

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Tina Fey Reveals All, and Proves What We've All Suspected: You're No One Until Someone Calls You Bossy.... )
alivemagdolene: (Snow White)
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Once upon a time, there were two princesses.

“Why are we princesses and not queens?” asked one asked one day, indignantly.

“Why do we have to be a part of the monarchy altogether? Doesn’t it just reinforce the unjust class system?”  wondered the other princess.

“I’ve got an idea! How about we run away and become Robin Hood together!”

And so the princesses ran away, living a life of adventure affecting positive social change and toppling the concept of wealth without work.

AND THEY LIVED VERY HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
alivemagdolene: (D-I-G Means DIG)
Happy 65th to the one and only Pope of Trash! Don't forget to ask for the senior discount at Chuck-E-Cheese! In tribute, here's a plethora of YouTubeage, first a classic clip, then some of his stand-up from Coachella, his sharing of a personal ghost story, and lastly about the only redeeming thing about Justin Beiber.



If You are Lucky Enough to Be Gay...! )





Wonder what Bieber thinks of the, uh, anti-anti-choice scenes in Polyester?).
alivemagdolene: (Alice Fall Mirror)


If the player doesn't work, the raw link is here.
alivemagdolene: (Are You Insane)
From here:

We've tried debating her, arguing with her, boycotting her, voting against her, and yet... she keeps coming back. Much like a vampire or a nasty fungus.

So for just one week, we're going to try something new: Ignoring her.

...That's right -- February 28-March 4 is officially, "Ignore Sarah Palin Week." For just one week, signers of this petition pledge to do the following:

* Change the channel if she comes on TV
* Surf to another page if she pops up on the web
* Turn to another article if she appears in a newspaper, magazine, comic book, etc.

Will you join us? Will you take the pledge? If so, sign the pledge here, add your thoughts if you want, and help spread the word. Can we ignore her for a week? Can we get our friends, neighbors and co-workers to do the same? You betcha!

Now, we understand that it might be tough to go cold turkey, and completely stop paying attention to Palin. Thus, we offer these helpful tip:

* If a friend mentions "Sarah Palin," reply as if he or she said, "Para Sailing." And keep doing it. Para sailing is way cooler.
* For your dose of gossip, consider switching to someone far less annoying. Like Snooki.
* Visit Telling Sarah Palin She's Full of Crap on Facebook, and join 100,000 other people who will be talking about everything else BUT Palin.
* Refer to her as "she who shall remain nameless" for the duration of the week
* Have other conversation topics ready to go

It's that simple. We really can ignore her for a week. We really can help pop any trial balloons being floated for 2012.

We really can enjoy a glorious week, free of Sarah! You betcha!
alivemagdolene: (Clara Laughs)


A Few Points:


I. Respect Lady Bunny, she's a legend.

II. According to the credits, the actresses that portrayed the Palins are actually women. Which means Palin is still ripe for the ambitious drag queen!

III. The fat joke was, of course, unnecessary. I'm getting the feeling that Lady Bunny was trying to imply that's what Palin would say about her daughter, not a dig at Bristol actually being "fat", but it seems like a better joke would be "Bristol = The Knocked Up One (So Far!)".

IV. No, I don't support the idea that Loughner was influenced by Palin, particularly the cross-hairs on her website, nor do I think that he was even particularly influenced by her especially. But Palin's behavior regarding the whole deal was disgusting, period, which I believe is the point LB is making/celebrating.

V. Of course, not all Alaskans even tolerate Palin and rightfully resent her speaking for them. We have much wonderful vocal evidence of that. But I think by addressing "Alaska", LB is referring, tongue in cheek, to "Palin's Alaska".

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