alivemagdolene: (Path)
I've taken great hubris in being annoyed with the RIP fellatio this year. If people honored this individuals half as much in life as they have in death...

But recently, thanks to The AV Club, I've heard about a man I wish I knew of sooner, and that I wish Perez Hilton (another "gossip columnist") could've gone in his place instead.

From The AV Club:

RIP Army Archerd

PhotobucketPhotobucket

Hard to believe now that any schmuck with a Powerbook, a few sarcastic quips in his arsenal, and a handiness with Google Image search can call himself a “gossip columnist,” but once upon a time the showbiz industry was prowled not by bottom-feeding blogs but genial, genuinely awed folks like Army Archerd. An entertainment reporter who got his start with the Associated Press before becoming a staple at Variety, where he penned the “Just For Variety” column, a breezy rundown of industry news, amusing celebrity anecdotes, and exclusive reports from film sets and awards shows that ran for more than 50 years before ending its run in 2005. Unlike most entertainment writers (yours truly included), Archerd prided himself on being a gentleman, avoiding negativity, and rarely weighing in on hot-button issues. And when he did, it was a big deal, such as when he stood up for Rock Hudson while sensitively revealing that he was being treated for AIDS, or when he chastised Charlton Heston (repeatedly) for his NRA grandstanding, or when he—a staunch opponent of McCarthyism at a time when every other Hollywood reporter was running splashy “Red Menace” exposés—stuck to his guns and wrote about his distaste for Elia Kazan receiving an honorary Oscar in 1999. And when Army Archerd was mad at you, even the biggest stars listened—such as when Archerd, a longtime advocate for Jewish causes, called out Michael Jackson for his infamous “Jew me / Sue me” lyric, and the singer called him a few days later to tell him personally that he would change the song.

More than just a writer, Archerd was a star himself, an institution of red carpet premières outside of Grauman’s Chinese Theater (where his name can be found on the Walk Of Fame), and a friendly face to some of Hollywood’s biggest names from the respective eras of Judy Garland to Elizabeth Taylor to Tom Cruise. But Archerd always remained a humble, egalitarian sort, epitomized by his co-creation of the People’s Choice Awards, his general aw-shucks demeanor, and his diligent reporting—which was always strenuously fact-checked and accurate, despite Archerd relying almost solely on a system of memorization and an ancient, swelling Rolodex. Only a few years into his retirement, Archerd died this week at the age of 87. Obviously, Variety has the best take on Archerd’s life and career, a fascinating read full of way more details than we can possibly convey here.
alivemagdolene: (Filth)
So, you want to geek out about John Waters but don't know where to start? Let The AV Club be your guide. Courtesy The AV Club:

John Waters

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by Keith Phipps, August 27, 2009
Get Your Geek On )

Polyester is my all time favorite movie ever made, so it's hard to argue with that. The rest checks out fairly well, too.

John Waters, you give me hope to carry on.
alivemagdolene: (Will Work For Social Change)
Snagged from The Hater:


Only Sarah Palin Is Allowed To Make Inappropriate, Perverse Jokes About Her Daughter, Okay?

Still Outragin'

by Amelie Gillette June 12, 2009

Sarah Palin brought her "bad monologue jokes are ruining young girls all across America" outrage parade to The Today Show this morning, and she brought along something special: her own ba-dum-pum inappropriate, perverse, just disgusting joke featuring her 14-year-old daughter.



"Ugh. If we must, Matt." Ugh, I guess if we must talk about the only thing I keep talking about in order to get attention, Matt.

Did you catch Palin's joke? It was in the statement the Palins released in response to Letterman's invitation to appear on his show. Perhaps it was lost in Matt Lauer's delivery (I'm sure if Sarah herself had read it, it would have killed--she knows funny):

The Palins have no intention of providing a rating’s boost for David Letterman by appearing on his show. Plus, it would be wise to keep Willow away from David Letterman.

Well, that is just disgusting. How dare this so-called politician make such a crude tasteless joke about a 14-year-old girl! "Jokes" like that one remind us that some Wasilla/Anchorage entertainers have a long way to go in understanding what the rest of America understands - that acceptance of inappropriate sexual comments about an underage girl, who could be anyone’s daughter--but really couldn't because, let's face it, the only reason she's included in the joke is because her attention-seeking mother trots her out in front of the cameras so often--contributes to the atrociously high rate of sexual exploitation of minors by older men who use and abuse others.

Of course, you could argue that the joke was about Letterman, not about the 14-year-old daughter...or you could interpret it as a joke about Willow beating up Letterman, as Sarah Palin suggested to Matt Lauer. But I think you'd have to be extremely naive to believe the very convenient excuse of Sarah Palin, or really anything she says.


____________________


Um, as Ms. Gillette brings up in her other excellent post which is useful for those of us that missed Letterman's comments in the first place (found here in case you missed the link in the article), Letterman never mentioned that it was her fourteen year-old-daughter (not that I'm saying families shouldn't be off limits, but one assumes he was referring to the daughter who garnered mass media coverage). Also, I risk my head exploding at trying to even get into what's wrong with Palin's attempt at a "feminist" (you'll notice she can barely get the word out) rant about what's corrupting young girls.

Palin/Plumber '12!
alivemagdolene: (Movie Time)
From The Hater:

Where Is Evan Rachel Wood Supposed To Be From?

Whatever Works

by Amelie Gillette May 12, 2009

Last week, the trailer for Whatever Works, the new Woody Allen joint starring Larry David as Larry David playing Woody Allen, found its way online. In it, Evan Rachel Wood plays a dim-witted girl who is apparently hails from some unidentifiable locale south of the Mason Dixon line.



Based on the trailer and nothing else here's a short list of where Evan Rachel Wood's character is supposed to be from:

--Texas?

--Generic Tin-Eared Southern Accent City, Texas

--A Kenosha, Wisconsin high school production of A Streetcar Named Desire

--You know, the South

--Inside a giant pot of syrupy sweet molasses

--The James Van Der Beek School Of Terrible Southern Accents

--The bottom of a big, ole frosty mint julep

--A soundstage

--That there swamp over yonder

--A Red Lobster on cajun shrimp night


________________


Not even the promise of the delicious Sam Bee will get me past the fact Evan Rachel Wood is wooing Larry David and in that "accent". Ugh.
alivemagdolene: (Movie Time)
Because I've told so many people about this, why not put it here? Swiped from The Onion AV Club:

Romance Minus the Schmaltz: 29 Falling-in-Love Movies We Actually Believe In
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
by Chris Mincher, Claire Zulkey, Josh Modell, Keith Phipps, Leonard Pierce, Nathan Rabin, Scott Tobias, Steve Heisler, Steven Hyden, and Tasha Robinson

Did your favorite make their list? )

I'd also like to nominate Wristcutters: A Love Story and Better Than Chocolate. Check 'em out, PARTICULARLY the former. I adore the AV Club's description of It Happened One Night. ^_^
alivemagdolene: (Sam WTF)
This has got to be one of the most fucking disturbing things I've ever seen. It's so surreal it's almost dizzying. WHO WOULD THINK THIS WAS EVEN A REMOTELY GOOD IDEA?!




As Amelie Gilette put it:

Today on her show, Martha Stewart showcased the talents of a young designer who could whip up some of the most beautiful, creative, intricate centerpieces just from everyday household things and basic crafting items that nearly everyone has on hand, such as: felt, construction paper, old pillowcases, and helpless infants who haven't yet learned to crawl away when mommy's making a joke outfit.

I don't know why this video is so creepy. Well, actually, I know exactly why this video is so creepy: it features overhead shot after overhead shot of a table full of babies dressed like over-sized food products, their chubby arms and legs squirming beneath the giant foodstuffs that have become their prisons. The turkey-baby is especially disconcerting.


These people need to be stopped.
alivemagdolene: (Movie Time)
Swiped from The Onion AV Club:

The MPAA Thinks You're StupidOh COME ON! It's hilarious! )Damned if Amelie Gillette doesn't crack me the fuck up more often than not. And that IS true about the The Great Train Robbery. A story also goes that a man was hauled out of a theater for shooting back at the screen. Watch the movie for yourself:

alivemagdolene: (FAIL)
This has got to be the sickest thing I've seen in quite a long time:



Can't see it? Click here (at your own risk).

From The Onion AV Club's The Hater:

Say what you will about Fergie, she is not afraid to bring it--"it" being plastic leggings, overblown Heart covers, desperate on stage writhing, creepy panting, and random Guns n' Roses shout-outs (when you're borrowing from so many--Gwen Stefani, Heart, Bratz dolls--you might as well throw another "influence" on the pile)--even if the place she's bringing it to is the Today show at 8am.

Another thing about Fergie? She knows her audience. Most performers would stand on the Today show stage in Rockefeller Center, look out at the dozens of sweatshirted tourists holding signs, 8th graders on class trips, and families with small children who consider Al Roker's humor to be "spicy," and decide to tone down their act. After all, it is a morning show, and the kids are three feet away--maybe you should save your "suggestively stroking the middle-aged guitar player on my knees" bit for afternoon gigs. But not Fergie. She took one look in the embarrassed eyes of the kids at the end of the stage, and gave them exactly what they wanted: a 33-year-old pop singer on her hands and knees screeching and writhing mere inches from their faces, with only the thinnest layer of Lycra separating them.

Next up: Fergie brightens up the pediatric ward at a local hospital with a special, all-writhing performance of her hit "London Bridge."




BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR......


E.T.A: I had to fix and repost this, since the video links were iffy in the last one and who am I do deny anyone this experience?
alivemagdolene: (Music! Music! Music!)
Photobucket


Courtesy of The Onion AV Club (you can read this article at their website here, but I've pretty much taken everything):


Let It Die: 23 Songs That Should Never Be Covered Again
Long Yet So Worth Your While )
I think the ones that made me shudder the hardest were the Avril Lavigne fiasco and the Marilyn Manson hideousness. Of course, they left out "Landslide".
alivemagdolene: (Music! Music! Music!)
This article from The Onion AV Club made me feel old, despite the fact I was barely fourteen when most of these songs hit. It was a younger, simpler time.... )

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